Thursday, 23 October 2014

LDR

Long distance relationship. Shudder?
This kind of relationship has become some kind of a myth. But it shouldn't.


Ever since I learned what really went down in the Italian School System (no offense), I knew right away I didn't want to continue my studies in the sunshine and pizza land and so I moved to Germany. The instability of school schedule, the lack of respect between students and teachers (it works - or doesn't work - both ways), the lack of anonymity where it is needed and just the whole "don't trust anyone" that circles between teenagers in school environment was just too much for me.



I spent the first 9 years of scholar education in my hometown Riga, Latvia. I was such a happy kid going to school. I participated in so many extra-curricular activities as the school choir, even if it meant going to school an hour earlier, the basketball team (OK, I was there only for some months but I loved it), I attended a music school (Pavels Jurjans for the win!!) and extra piano lessons. My everyday life was so full and I am truly grateful for that and for the people and friends I was surrounded by.

But then I moved to super little town in comparison to the capital city of Latvia and things were just too different. Everyone knew everyone, people knew me already before I had the chance to meet them, no privacy, no secrets. All in all, it wasn't a city life anymore. 
So for a 16-year-old girl to have a healthy relationship with friends and an eventual boyfriend it was kind of rough. It may seem weird but the others already knew each other so I was like the new kid on the block and sometimes it felt like I was the new attraction, like, who is she, why is she here, what does she want. With all do respect, I wanted to finish high school. That's it. No tricks or secrets. I wanted to start and finish, and then continue my life somewhere else. I didn't want to be stuck in one place, a thing that not everyone appreciated me thinking and always asked me if that place wasn't good enough for me. No offense, it was lovely there, but I just didn't get along.

Needless to say, the first relationship was a wreck, just like the second and third one (if one can even call it a relationship). However, they all were used to "going out", I was all about finding the love of my life. Yes, I know that I sound like an old lady, but I have an old and sentimental heart and I always knew I wasn't the girl who would change boyfriends every month.

I'm not hating now on the 5 years I spent in Italy, they gave me so much and in addition they took so many of my nerves that I'm surprised I don't have gray hair already. But about that some other time.

Where were we...Oh, the long distance. Yeah. I learned that most of the people would just break up with their significant others rather than just w o r k   i t   o u t.
I saw too many couples breaking up just because they had different goals, or no goals at all, for that matter. Too many hearts broken or too many dreams thrown away just for the sake of not working on a relationship. And that wasn't my style.

When I met my boyfriend, I knew, oh I just knew. You know? I knew and I know, that he had the same sentimental heart as I do. Many, including my parents, couldn't bare with the idea that at 17 I actually met the person I wanted to spend my life with. And no, I'm not afraid of writing this at the age of 21 and I'm not scared that I could regret these words one day. This is what love really is, not being afraid.

"You're young, you don't know what you want; have fun but don't get tied up in that relationship" these are not the things someone in love wants to hear. But I just ignored them. I knew that I wouldn't let the world put pressure on me or make me decide for what's better for the others.
I decided for me, for my happiness, for my life. And I couldn't be happier. Living for yourself is the best thing you can do.

So after beautiful 3 years of us, bombing the social media with our super cute and annoying selfies, fighting against the popular belief that one can be in love only for the first 6 months and after the emotions and feelings just fade, we took the biggest decision ever. No, we didn't even decide. We just lived through it.

For a year we lived together and it was the best year of my life so far. So the thought of living 1656 km (1028 miles) apart from each other sounded like a horror story.

But I'd like to brag about my significant other. He never told me to choose (ugh don't ever let anyone make you choose between them or your dream, unless it's between becoming a unicorn or an elf, think about it), he never mentioned and he never even thought that we should break up only because we'd live in different countries, going to different universities, getting to know other people. And I didn't either. There was no doubt, we trusted each other and it came totally natural that I can do what I want with my future studies and he too.

For the last couple of months we've been living apart and each day hurts but also makes us stronger. Seriously. With each day I become more and more certain about our future. I don't want to jinx anything, but it doesn't even feel like anything could jinx this, us, the future, anything that the universe has in store for us, we just take it as it comes.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, that you know it's right when every love song, sad or happy, means immediatly something to you, no matter how cheesy it can be, and Katy Perry was right about, that if it doesn't feel like in the movies, it just isn't right. You know it's right when you don't have to feel afraid, doubted, untrusted, missunderstood. And every new challenge that life has to offer, like long distance experiences, will only make you grow more together and not apart. If it feels like growing apart, then let it go. It doesn't have to feel like that, take my word.





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