december, one

Wow, I just noticed I haven't published anything since the end of November. Honestly, I've been busy with life and university stuff; but I'm back, for now. I have some exciting plans for the holidays and I will share them later on.

I don't want to do the small talk here on the blog, those are for conversations with people you really don't want to spend those agonizing 10 minutes of your time, trying to prove that you can talk as a normally functioning human being. So I'll skip that.
When I was super-little I thought that the world consisted of my grandparents' house, my own house and Australia (don't ask why, I was obsessed as a kid). When I was a teenager I thought that my life consisted of where I lived and of fantasies about other contintents and how the life would be there. And now, at 21, I'm still expanding my horizons, still learning something new, if not each day, then each week for sure. It's absolutely fascinating going back in your own memories and remembering the things you thought and in time realizing and understanding them, and sometimes maybe also not understanding, because maybe you're not old yet or you just don't have to know that.
Destiny will take care of what I do and what I don't need to know at the moment. I believe in destiny. But not like crazy-believe, my actions don't depend on simple wish on a magical destiny path that will guide me through life, no. Absolutely, not. I'm my own guidance and on the road of this weird and beautiful journey I learn from other people and different surroundings. It's amazing how much I know now and how little I knew back then, even if at that "back then" time I thought that my brain just couldn't handle more information. But now I see it all the time, that my brain, our brains, are such good information keepers without capacity limit. And I love it.
Of course, there may be some bumps on the road, like usual girls with bitch faces and guys who don't know what the hell they are doing on Planet Earth. But I can learn from them too, I can take all the positive and negative things and elaborate them in a way they suite me. I always tend to examine all sorts of energies that people give out in the world and learn from them.
People often say "the world is little", because they meet old college friends on the street. And with all the techs and progress itself we are able to travel the whole wide world. And I don't like that expression, "the world is so little". It is so not true. It may seem like it but it will never get boring, ever. The fascinating thing about this world and our lives is that not one moment, gesture, word, day is the same. We never take off jackets the same exact way, we never talk in the same tone or to the same people over and over again. Each time is different. If you're a pessimist, you will not see this, but if you're a realist like me, you will agree. The world is not a boring or a depressing place, it is full of excitement, fear, risk, happiness and love. And all these pretty things and meaning can be found in any part of the world, in any object, person, animal, small or big. You just have to open your eyes and your mind to it all and absorb it. That is one damn good feeling.

But there aren't always positive things, of course. People mess up, say what they don't want to say or just zone out from everything and just don't care. Sometimes I mess up too, I can't always act like a sunshine and spit out rainbows! We all mess up, but how we deal with it later is totally only our business. I learn from it and I cherish everything that has made me the human I am now. And I'm not done, there is more my eyes have yet to see and my brain to computerize.


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