trust your struggle

It is real and it is so hard to live with, but it is worth it. Trust me.

Let me tell you about it as I've been there, done that a million times plus one.

Imagine being 16 and thrown out of your comfort zone, totally. I'm not talking about having to dress differently against your own will or having to study something you don't like. I'm talking about moving to another country knowing, literally, 5 words and 1 phrase. I'm talking about leaving all my relatives and most loving friends behind because of, well, life. You may ask "what possible reason should make you leave your home, family and friends? why?". The answer is simple. Family itself made me take that choice. I moved with my mum and brother from the small Latvia to the boot-shaped Italy because of family, because I've always put them in first place no matter what and I always will. My grandparents were sad but they knew that it will open different doors to my future and it may be scary but also exciting. My friends stayed my friends in long distance. Yes, that caused us to drift apart but the best ones always stayed in my heart and never turned their backs on me. Fun fact, some of them didn't believe I actually moved away, they waited for me to publish thousands of photos before believing I was really away (insert histerically laughing smiley here). 

Like Macklemore said "I got my city right behind me, if I fall, they got me." Although with every year the distance between me and my homecity seems to grow bigger and bigger, it still has a piece of my heart and it is and will be one of my happy places.

"One of.."? Yes. Because, well, I've lived now in 3 different countries and uncountable different cities, and I've left my heart in every and each one of them, not mentioning the cities I've visited as a tourist and fell in love with. Every one of them has something that I love and hate, and I think that it is extremely healthy to feel both of these emotions regardless if it's in a relationship with other people or to something (material) close to your heart.

I've got to know so many different people, good and bad. Yes, there is no escape in meeting some a**holes along the way but it's just a part of the whole journey. And every one of them made me into the human I am today. And now is the time I start shaping myself into who I really want to be, thanks to all the experiences I've lived, positive and negative. 

Sometimes it does feel like "One thing that is clear, it's all down hill from here" like Josh Homme so beautifully sings, but then you know, even if it's down hill from here, you're the one in control so it's up to you to choose whether to keep going down or get your shit together and go up, or at least just keep going. Never stop, ever.

Of course, I'm aware that I'm not the first and only person to move away from my country. I feel the need to tell all this because my heart is so full and I feel so good getting it all out.

From my experience, there are some things that made me laugh when people didn't really get where I come from. I'm from Latvia, we're in the EU since 2004 and I am proud of my country. I just did an presentation for my sociology class at the university and I talked about three different types of people who live outside their native country: the ones, who keep close contact to their homeland, the ones, who are in search of a new home country and the ones, who mash-up their former homeland memories and experiences with their current life situation and location. And I must honestly say, I don't belong to any of them.

Yes, I am proud of my country, it's culture, folklore and the many ways it has teached me how to prepare potatoes (also, we have a good sense of humor and know how have a good laugh about ourselves). And there are also thing I am not so proud about but it's all political and politics is the last thing I want to mention here. But I would never spit on the name of my country, as I see many people do. And I would (probably) never go back to live there, too. But I would never forget where I come from because it's the first thing that shape my personality and my whole being. And I am not in a search of a new country to call mine, because "when you own the world, you're always home". Oh, Queens of the Stone Age, it seems as if your music was made for my ears and brain! (little love declaration to QOTSA)

So, and I've also encountered multiple missunderstandings regarding my nationality and my goals. I've been asked one too many times a residence permit (in EU countries), because the people who work at some institutions (and I would expect a bit more education and politeness from people who work at f*cking national institutions!!) still don't know the EU Member States (that one could google in 5 seconds with their pretty darn iPhone 6, instead of playing candy crush). I've been asked "what the hell are you doing here" as if I've intruded someone's personal space by moving to a different country. Mmmmkay..? And last but not least, I've been made fun about my accent.

Well, here I just explode every time I hear that. And I'm not gonna take shit from anyone any more. I'm done with feeling bad about my accent, because I'm still mastering it for every language that I speak and it is the most hardest thing while learning but it is the most respectful thing a foreigner can do, as not so many people take learning the accent in consideration at all.
Trust me, there are a lot of people who just are not in the right position to tell me how to pronounce and not, how to say this and that. The problem is that most of them concentrate on the bad things in others and totally over-see their own flaws. Well, you know what, You try to get out of your comfort zone, You start and finish high school without failing in a totally new country and You go to study to another new country, then we'll talk. The cultural shock, the diversities between accents of one language and the other, the traditions, what is normal for one country is not for the other. You try to learn 6 different languages, 3 of them on your own and then we can have a chit-chat, because I will not be put down by people who are too ignorant and close-minded. It just gives me the chills thinking about how they are still existing on this planet where diversity and ethno-language-cultural mix is at it's best. Here I just have to share another quote to live by: "Don't laugh at someone's accent when they speak to you. It probably means they can speak a language you can't."

The thing that we all need is more acceptance and tolerance, and less ignorance.

Iggy Azalea sings "You can hate it or love it, hustle and the struggle is the only thing I'm trusting" and I love her for that, because it is more true than every other tumblr quote.